Political Pigs in the Parlor
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Make America Comfy Again
Executive Order: Farmers Convert Unsold Tariff Soybeans to Beanbag Chairs “As the #1 export crop for the U.S., soybean producers face huge, disproportionate impacts from trade flow disruptions, particularly to China, which is our largest market. And we know foreign soybean producers in Brazil and other countries are expecting abundant crops this year and are…
Physician, Heal Thyself
Health Department Gets New Leader What do you get when you cross Joel Osteen with Dr. Oz? Easy! “The Affordable Prayer Act!” JPB After firing thousands of epidemic medical experts at the Department of Health and Human Services, the newly appointed MAGA Director of HHS hired his own expert who specializes in divination of primate…
DOGE Cuts Ballooning Government
No Strings Attached … At All “The Final Cuts” Up Next “Abuelo’s Final Sacrifice”
Danger: Libraries Cause Literacy
Schools and libraries under assault in the name of ideology. Some folks are born made to wave the flagHoo, they’re red, white and blueAnd when the band plays “Hail to the chief”Ooh, they point the cannon at you, Lord It ain’t me, it ain’t meI ain’t no senator’s son, sonIt ain’t me, it ain’t meI…
Chock Full o’ MAGA Nuts
A Texas politician was accused of selling his soul to MAGA for one vote.“That’s outrageous,” he said. “I turned down a yacht, a helicopter, and a private island.”“So what changed your mind?”He looked down, ashamed.“Roasted pecans from Buc-ee’s.”In Texas, even the men who sell their souls know enough to go nuts first.- Jim Butler
“I Want to Break Free … Of the Lies that Bind”
Truths Held Self-Evident The difference between the United States and an authoritarian regime is a culture whose three branches of government orbit truth. Though at times the orbit may decay, the forces of democracy will force the branch back into a stable path. Our hold to these self-evident truths keeps our country out of a…